No matter how realistic modern games can be, there are still a few patchy areas where things just don’t add up. Here I’ll list 50 funny examples of video game logic.
1. Red Dead Redemption
John Marston is a one-man army, but he dies the second he touches the water
2. Batman Arkham Series
Batman vows never to kill anyone, but he’s fine with absolutely crippling them through intense and brutal combat.
3. Assassin’s Creed Series
If you view a synchronization point and jump 10 stories down, no one bats an eye. However, if you start scaling a chest-high wall, people lose their minds.
4. Resident Evil 4
The president’s daughter has been kidnapped, but instead of sending a covert team of experts, you send one guy with a pistol and hope for the best.
5. Wolfenstein: The New Order
B.J. spends years in a coma, yet once threatened by an enemy, all of his muscle mass and combat skills come back instantly.
6. Splinter Cell
Try to be quiet as you can and blend in with the shadows. Never mind those 3 glowing green lights bobbing and weaving in the air.
Corvo has been framed for the murder of the Empress. The only way to prove his innocence? Murdering people.
8. Final Fantasy VII
When Aerith dies, Cloud can’t use phoenix down to revive her?
9. Batman Arkham Series
Batman doesn’t fool around unless he’s making sure his explosive gel is in the shape of a bat before triggering it.
Sonic can break the sound barrier, but he can’t catch Eggman?
11. The Evil Within
You can carry multiple weapons and more, but only 5 matches?
The lute player in the inns will play the lute even if the building is completely on fire.
Eating 50 loaves of bread can heal you in the heat of battle with a tough foe
14. Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
Change camouflage in seconds to accommodate any area.
You can pickpocket ghosts
All of your limbs are crippled? Just find a bedroll and nap for one hour, it’ll heal you right up 100%.
17. Grand Theft Auto
You’re able to just waltz up to a police officer brandishing an RPG without batting an eye
Master Chief has a super-suit fitted for a super-soldier. But he can’t swim?
19. Far Cry
If you fall off of a building, you better heal. However, your character will start to remove a bullet from their body.
Usually you picture master locked doors as finely sealed. But what about when they’re half busted doors that you can see through?
21. Call of Duty
Supersoldiers in super suits are the future, however, they can only sprint for a few seconds?
Can take Bowser by the tail and throw him with superhuman strength. However, if Mario touches a turtle, he crumbles.
23. Assassin’s Creed III
The crew of the ship trusts you with destroying ships even though you have no prior experience on the sea whatsoever.
Bandits and more will bravely charge you even though you’ll be wearing unique power armor and wielding a laser weapon.
25. Call of Duty
Worried about dying after getting riddled with bullets? No worries just hide behind a box for 5 seconds. Good as new!
26. God of War
Kratos is a god killer and can do anything. However, he can’t open a wooden door.
27. Gears of War
You are soldiers on a completely deprived planet and yet you keep amazing muscle mass and protein intake to maintain a burly physique.
A bottle of water heals more hit points than an actual HP potion
29. Tomb Raider
You are the first person to explore this tomb in hundreds of years. Except you’ll find a machine gun upgrade waiting inside.
30. Grand Theft Auto
You can have a 6-star wanted level and be hounded by the army, but they’ll leave you alone if you take a nap in your apartment for a bit.
31. Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker
Big Boss uses his lost eye to look through the iron sights of his rifle
You’re a young adventurer, fighting monsters and humans. However, if you come across a small shrub in your path, you’re going to need a Pokémon to bypass it.
33. Grand Theft Auto
You can go into the barber bald, but leave with an afro
Professor Oak gladly and willingly gives 10-year old’s monsters who can set fire to things. Where are the parents?!
35. The Sims
Meet your neighbor at noon, by 9 P.M., you’ll be married with one child
Defending villagers from a dragon? Better not accidentally hit a chicken, or else you’re going to become public enemy number one
37. Just Cause
Riding a shot propane tank into the stratosphere
You can fall in the water and die. Since when do frogs die in water?
39. Armor for women in games leave wide open areas for their cleavage
Helpful Video Game Design Tools
40. The Last of Us
Joel willingly punches infected enemies when the plague is spread through physical contact
Master Chief can fall thousands of feet, burn up upon re-entry into the atmosphere, but if he falls 50 feet, he’ll die.
A crack-shot team of super soldiers deployed to eradicate the aliens on earth. However, they miss a ton of easy shots.
43. Super Smash Bros./Mario
Princess Peach can beat everybody but allows Bowser to kidnap her anyway.
Batman is a billionaire superhero with state-of-the-art gadgets but can’t cut through a flimsy chain-link fence.
45. Left 4 Dead
The characters emphasize being quiet, and especially not shooting a car to activate its alarm. However, they’re using pipe bombs and automatic weapons.
46. Mortal Kombat
When sub-zero freezes someone in midair, the laws of gravity no longer apply.
47. Stealth games
Enemies can be really stupid. In Splinter Cell, an enemy could be hunting you relentlessly, but then mutter ‘hm, must have been nothing.’
48. Animal Crossing
While you’re working off your debt to Tom Nook, everyone else is just lazing about the town. Where are their jobs? Are you the only working stiff?
49. Dungeons and Tombs
Nothing like cracking open an ancient tomb, which hasn’t been explored in centuries, only to find it perfectly lit with candles.
50. The Sims
You can be abducted by aliens and impregnated. The catch is, you need to be a man for this to happen.